


Comfort

by Stars_of_Kyber



Series: Hope [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: AU: Some Live/ Not Everybody dies, Comfort, F/M, Family, Jyn Erso Needs A Hug, Jyn-centric, Kid-fic, Nightmares, There is some sort of angst, fluffly fluff, rebelcaptainweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 21:51:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10705851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stars_of_Kyber/pseuds/Stars_of_Kyber
Summary: "After so many years of running, it was still strange to stay in one place. Strange to think that comfort was no longer a luxury."





	Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again!  
> I think I've never written so fast in my life! XD  
> So this is for the second prompt in Rebelcaptain Appreciation week: Comfort.  
> I finished this at 2AM.  
> I might have mixed up the line between being comforted and being comfortable...

Jyn Erso learned that comfort was not something necessary in a person’s life from a very young age. When she lived in Coruscant and Lah’mu as a small girl, she had a comfortable bed, warm home and loving parents. But after her mother had died and she was taken by Saw, comfort became synonymous of luxury. There was no comfort in sleeping with one eye open in rocky cold stone and sandy floors, or having dried blood itching on your skin because you couldn’t clean it. She had cried at night, for some time after she arrived, being used to her parents tugging her in bed with goodnight kissed and sleeping with warm blankets and stuffed toys. She had to learn how to cry in silence and that there would be no more of that comfort for her. 

It only got worse after Saw left her. She slept when she could where she could if she could. She was too busy trying to survive to even consider any kind of comfort. Not even to mention the time she spent on prison. 

Then came Scariff and by some miracle she survived, along with Cassian and Bodhi and decided to stay with the Rebellion. It was still not comfortable, but it was an improvement. Instead of sleeping in cold floors she had military bunks. Instead of being always with one eye open, she learned that sometimes she could let herself rest, because there were people there to watch her back. She learned that she slept much better cramped with Cassian in his standard size bunk then alone in hers. But there were nightmares and long missions with the Pathfinders and the freezing temperatures of Hoth and comfort was still a luxury.  Yet, she had found it in whispered words at night, at hurried kisses in the corners of a hangar, at stolen moments and laughs at the mess hall. 

Then the war ended and even years after it she was still trying to grasp the concept that she had a warm bed that was hers and a private fresher that didn’t smell like hundreds of dirty exhausted soldiers. It was strange not to be worried when you would be able to eat, shower or sleep again. After so many years of running, it was still strange to stay in one place. Strange to think that comfort was no longer a luxury.

She made her way home from the training center after two days of heavy training new recruits that were so eager to join the New Republic, and all she was thinking about was falling face first into bed and not getting up until she had to be literally dragged from it. Every part of her body hurt, and the parts that didn’t, she couldn’t feel anymore. 

The moment she stepped inside the apartment, she dropped her duffel bag next to the door, kicked her shoes off her feet and stood for a moment appreciating the feel of them off, her feet touching the cold floor.

“Jyn Erso.” K2 metallic voice made her jump. “Cassian is not here. He had to be in the intelligence center because of the riots in the South Sector. He asked me to inform you, upon your arrival.”

“I know.” She rubbed her face with both of her hands. “He commed to let me know.”

“The dark bags under your eyes would suggest you are tired.” The droid stated. “Are you tired?” 

“I am. It was a long day.” 

“I have been watching over Hope in your absence. She has been sleeping for the past four hours, if you would like to know.” The droid informed. 

“Thank you Kay.” She mumbled, making her way through the living room to the hallway. “You can power down now.” 

She managed a smile listening to the droid bickering something about not needing to power down before he actually did it. She had ended up getting somewhat fond of that sassy piece of metal. Not that she would ever admit it out loud. 

She cleaned herself enough to be able to get into fresh clothes and freed her hair from the messy bun in the back of her head before heading to check on her daughter. 

Jyn had been terrified when he realized she was pregnant. It might have been one of the most terrifying moments in her life. She had never even considered it a possibility before she set in a medbay and stared at a droid as he gave her the news. Cassian and her had been so busy fighting a war, then working to maintain some sort of peace that they never talked about marriage, much less a child. They weren’t very good at talking in the first place. 

But when he arrived home to find her curled in bed crying, and she told him, in between sobs, that she was pregnant, he just pulled her into his chest and murmured soothing words in between kisses and smiles and, slowly, part of her fears drained away, because maybe they could figure it out together like they’ve done some many times. She realized, hours later, lying curled against Cassian’s side in their bed, that even though she was scared to death, the idea of their child made her happy. 

Holding her baby in her arms for the first time brought her a different sort of fear and a different sort of love to Jyn. She was so small and beautiful, her tiny hand curled around Cassian’s finger and he pressed his lips to Jyn’s hair, telling her how perfect their daughter was and it all just felt so  _ right _ . She was afraid that she would close her eyes and it would all just disappear, just like so many things in her life had done. She was afraid to make a mistake or to not be enough for that little life they had created. She was afraid of losing that feeling of rightness she had so recently discovered. 

Jyn stood by the door of Hope’s room, almost five years after that, just staring at her daughter’s sleeping form, her back to the door and locks of dark hair escaping her carefully tucked in braid. All Jyn wanted was for Hope to have all she and Cassian couldn’t have as they grew up. She wanted Hope safe and happy and loved, away from wars and fights. If she could grant her daughter that,it would be enough. 

She noticed something was off when she heard a soft sniff coming from the bed.

“Hope?” She asked, half afraid of being just paranoid and waking her from peaceful sleep for nothing. But the little girl’s back tensed a little and she was sure something was wrong. Every drop of tiredness vanished, being replaced by concern. “Is everything alright?” There wasn’t an answer, but a louder sniff. Jyn sighed and set by the bed. “Hope?”

“Mama?” Hope asked with a small voice, turning around to face her mother. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked, pushing her daughter’s dark hair from her face with a frown. 

“Nothing” Hope just shook her head. 

“Are you crying?” Jyn ran her hand on the little girl’s face, who pulled closer to her, hiding her face in her mother’ s tunic. “What’s wrong, love?” 

“I don’t want you and Papa to die.” She whispered. Jyn’s heart hammered against her chest and she used all her force of will for her voice not to tremble.

_ Remember. Whatever I do, I do to protect you. Say you understand. _

“Why would you say that, starshine?” Jyn asked, wrapping her arms around her baby’s small frame. 

“I had a bad dream.” Home sniffed again, settling herself in Jyn’s lap. 

_ We need to keep going. Don’t let them see you, okay? _

“About Mama and Papa dying?” She asked, softly. The expression in Hope’s half shadowed face broke her heart when the girl nodded. 

“You didn’t come back home.” Hope said, so low that Jyn held her breath to hear the words. “You both promised you would, but you didn’t.” 

_ You know where to go, don’t you? Wait for me there. Don’t come out for anyone but me.  _

Hope was crying silently into her shoulder as Jyn rubbed soft circles on her back, but it was only when a tear reached the tip of her nose that she realized she’d been crying as well. She pulled her baby tighter into her chest, feeling her hands tremble into the girl’s hair. She didn’t trust herself to answer it right away, afraid that her broken voice would give away just how much that same dream plagued her.     

“I promise,” Jyn mumbled after some time. “that Papa and I will do  _ everything _ we can to come back to you, every time.” 

“You promise?” Hope asked, looking up to her mother. 

_ I’ll be there. Now go! _

“I promise.” Jyn said, placing a soft kiss to her forehead.

“I love you, Mama.” Hope whispered into Jyn’s neck. 

“I love you too, starshine.”  Jyn breathed into her hair. “Now you need to sleep, yeah?”

“Yeah…” Hope sighed. “Can you here with me?”

“Of course.” Jyn answered immediately, and half lied down, her head propped against the head of the small bed, her legs a little bent so she could fit into it, one of her feet half dangling from the side of the bed. Hope snuggled on top of her and closed her eyes with a sigh of contentment as Jyn pulled her arms around her slander frame. Within a minute, her breath evened out and sleep took her in. 

Jyn allowed the warmth and peace of her daughter in her arms lure her to much needed sleep, her body bent in all sorts of ways to fit herself into the tiny bed, and as she drifted out of conscience, Jyn Erso never felt so comfortable. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!!   
> Any thoughts just let me know!!
> 
> You can find me in tumblr at Gabriel-Herondale


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